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Tough times don’t last, tough people do. But what exactly makes people tough? Today we will discuss how to get over difficult times in your life and totally change your mood from depressed to happy. There are certain patterns that create certain feelings and outcomes.

Tough people are strong because they do things that empower them, instead of doing those that put them down. I’ve been there, I’ve been depressed and sad before. That’s why I can tell you from my experience that you can change yourself into a complete direction and get the life that you want.

The problems that we face are meant to make us stronger and better. They are the obstacles we push against to sculpt our character and our soul. 

Now let’s get to it. No matter why you are feeling low and what kind of difficulties you are facing now, there are ways to empower yourself that can work in any situation. Either if you just got fired, broke up with your lover or you are feeling really bad about the way you look, this following steps will help you change your life from negative to positive and will get you the results you wish for.

The first thing that we have to clarify is that you are in control! You have the power inside of you to achieve any great victory and overcome any obstacle. I just remind you that and teach you how to use your own strengths. Another thing that I also want to make clear, is that I don’t believe in positive thinking without action. That’s childish. I believe in the power of good action guided by positive thoughts. Here are the steps to get over any obstacle:

1. Find a way to relax

I know you are stressed out because you just focused too much on things that are not important. The first step into overcoming obstacles is to get a clear vision of life. The only way to get that vision is to relax and find your inner peace. We will not do this to avoid our problems, we will do this to be able to fix it better.

Because you see when you are stressed your mind gets blurred out. You can’t find a solution and you can’t use your qualities when you are constantly thinking about the fact it’s not working or it’s not pleasing you. Get the time to relax. Watch a movie, do a walk in the park, go to the gym or spend some time with your loved one. Try to avoid addictive substances, because they only stop more our ability to think clearly (cigarettes, alcohol, excessive eating etc).

It’s also very relaxing to empower yourself with positive thoughts. Either if you read this blog, read a motivation book from Tony Robbins, look for motivational quotes on the internet or simply use motivational phrases out loud (“I can do this! I’m stronger and stronger! Nothing can stop me! I can achieve anything! God is with me and God is everything !”), it’s going to do wonders for your calmness.

2. Create positive feelings

After we fueled our mind with positivity, now it’s time to fuel our hearts. Emotions come from motion, so we will have to do physical things to create emotions. Either if we smile uncontrollably until we feel good, we get to a run or a cuddling session, it’s very important that we inflict these positive feelings into our heart.

Depression comes when negative feelings are fueled instead of the positive ones. And these require as less motion as possible. Think about it. If you are depressed you probably are slumped over, you have a straight face that expresses no emotion and your breathing and talking are quietly done. That’s what you need to change. Your physical posture, the way you talk, the way you speak, the big grin on your face that needs to be there. You don’t need a reason to feel good because you also don’t need a reason to feel bad.

Do physical changes, in a drastic way, that puts you in a different state of emotional and mental well-being. 

It’s also very important for us to focus on gratitude every day. We should be grateful for all the amazing things we have in our lives. Our families, our homes, our food, our music, our clean water. All these amazing blessings we have from God must be seen. When you have gratitude in your heart, you will feel alive and aware. And you will also appreciate the value of life when you realize they’re so many people in this world that don’t even have clean water to drink.

You will also love this article done by my friends from NJlifehacks: How to Be Happy: 26 Strategies Backed by Research.

3. Get a clear view of the problem

Let’s be honest right here. You most probably exaggerated what happened. It’s natural because it’s amplified by a bad state. When we are depressed or stressed our minds can’t perceive things properly. That’s why we are going to take a look at the situation after we relaxed and created some positive feelings.

What really happened? Don’t make it worse, don’t make it better. Act like a journalist and work with facts. What was the cause of this event? What you did, and you didn’t notice, that created this situation? What were the choices you made that led to this?

If you need the best view of it, right it down in your journal. To solve anything in life requires understanding what we have to solve in the first place.

4. Find a lesson

There’s always a way to improve ourselves. That is progress and that makes us happy. After we understood what exactly happened and what were the actions that direct us into that specific situation, now we take the golden nugget of lesson that we have there.

This is the most important step of the problems. Because only in difficulties and failures we get the best lessons. When you are winning, there’s nothing to learn there anymore. You already mastered that. We can’t talk enough about the importance of these lessons. They make us a better person, a wiser person, a kinder person and a more loving one. Lessons transform us into the person we want and wish to become.

All the greatest achievers made the biggest mistakes also. The only thing that made them winners was their persistence. They’ve kept pushing forward and they’ve kept improving themselves. So take your valuable lessons out of your experience and you will progress in ways you can’t even imagine.

What can you do differently? How can you be better? What choices can you make to avoid this situation in the future?

You might also like: Try to Find a Lesson in Everything

5. Get a solution and focus on it

On the problem, we only focus 10%. 90% we focus on the solution. What can you do about it? How can you change your life to be the way you want it? That’s the solution you are going to focus on. And you are going to apply it as many times required until you get there.

I’m a man of solutions and I love this part. Finding the problem, yeah, that’s important. But it’s only one small step compared to applying the solution. Besides the fact that focusing on what you can do will improve your life, you will also feel better because you will progress. You will feel in control because now you focus on something you CAN do, instead of focusing on something that is out of your control.

No matter what your problem is, there is a solution to it. If you have financial problems, you should learn more ways to get money. If you have physical problems, you should focus on eating healthy, training and getting stronger. If you have love problems, you should learn to love unconditionally and how to properly choose the one you want to spend your life with.

Any situation we face, there’s already a book made about it. There’s already at least one person that faced that situation and knows the answers. Even if your path is going to be original, and you will find your own version for the solution, it’s best to first study how other people did it. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, but you can improve it.

Now we focus on it. We focus on our solution to make your lives the way we want it, and we stick to it. We try to improve ourselves with each and every step and do it better and better every time. Eventually, we will get where we want, and we will look at our lives like: “This is what I’m living for!”

6. Change your perspective

Now you are wiser. You managed to find your inner peace, see the problem exactly how it is, find a solution and focus on it. You are an action man (or woman) now. It feels good right? Let’s make it last forever.

When you changed your state, you changed your emotions and your thoughts also. You need to get a clear perspective of life from this point of view. I’m talking about your life fundamentals, habits, dreams, and even your rules. I know there were some mistakes along this line because that’s what created your depression. You see, we are what we do every day. Most of us have fundamentals from childhood that we don’t even revisit them to understand they don’t apply to our lives, or it’s not what we wish for.

You need to note in your journal what you don’t want in your life anymore, including toxic relationships, that belly fat or empty pockets. And also write what you truly wish to get in your life. That dream house of yours, the perfect love story or those nice numbers in the bank account. Dream big and you are going to live big. Write them down with details and make a habit to revisit your dreams daily.

Empower yourself with the vision that you’re already there, you already accomplished what you wanted. Feel like you are already there. You have this instant the power to go after everything you wish for.

Focus on the person you have to become in order to achieve your dreams and get rid of the things you don’t want. Revisit every day your habits, fundamentals, the choices you make. Self-education must be a never-ending process.

I know this is a long post, but I’ve really wanted to give all the details necessary to help people get over depression and fulfill their dreams. I hope this is useful for you or for somebody you know. It would also mean the world to me if you sent this to someone who you think that needs it.

I wish you guys a happy life, lived to its fullest, with everything you wish for accomplished or on your way there. Leave your comments below, I will love to hear from you. 💖