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Love is the biggest treasure in our lives. Therefore, it’s more than important to know how to find it, how to create it and how to keep it growing. This is what I call emotional intelligence and it’s the most important aspect that you have to grow.

True love means that person whom you are meant to be with, your soulmate. And by definition, this means that the match should be made within your hearts. Yes, there is a plus if there are mental and physical attractions as well, but your soul bonding is the most important.

Not to mention that physical and mental attractions can be made afterward, and worked upon. For example: If my soulmate likes a certain way of behaving from me, I’m going to do that just to please her.

Let’s start first to say what is pushing you away from your true love. The answer is, shockingly enough, dating guides. You know, those types of guides that teach you techniques on how to pick up women or men. Those are mental tricks that basically transform you into a manipulative person. Besides the fact that is an ugly way of being, tricking somebody to mentally like you doesn’t mean that you will make that person love you. It doesn’t work that way. So throw away any technique or behavior tip about getting a date that you’ve learned from a pickup master. Otherwise, be ready to adopt 10 cats or dogs, because you will end up alone. No matter how good you trick somebody into liking you, God will send them true love in their lives and they will wake up from the illusion.

The only guides that you should learn are the ones that teach you how to be real man or women. How to behave like a gentleman or lady, how to express your feelings, how to discipline your feelings, how to show more love, how to be faithful and commitment, these types of things.

Now that we cleared out-of-the-way what’s keeping you away from true love, now let’s get to the lovely part. So how does one get true love? That match made in Heaven, that other heart that completes yours? It starts and it ends with your heart. By working on our own soul, that’s how we attract and find the person that will amplify our feelings. And I’ve prepared for you 3 easy steps that you can start to practice now to find true love in your life, and after you find him or her to keep making the love bigger.

1. Love yourself and cultivate love in your heart

This is the foundation of finding true love. If you don’t love yourself, how can others love you? They might pity you, they might feel bad for your own suffering, but that’s not real love. That’s compassion. To have somebody that truly loves you for who you are, they have to see your own self, your qualities, your character, your way of being and also your flaws. And you can express that when you have the self-confidence of loving yourself.

You need to love yourself and be yourself one hundred percent before you can actually love someone else. – Christina Perri

What a beautiful quote, isn’t it? And it’s true. You can’t say you love somebody else until you love yourself. If you feel empty, shattered, broken, lonely and depressed because you don’t love yourself, you will just want somebody to fix these pains for you. That’s a selfish feeling and what you give is what you receive.

You have to love yourself as a person and keep your heart growing in love, compassion, happiness and all the beautiful feelings. Listen to beautiful music, read the Bible, watch a lovely happy romance, read some love quotes, learn about how to love more, thank God for everything that you have or just think about the people that are important for you; there are thousands of ways in which you can cultivate love in your heart. And when you keep your heart warm and lovely, that’s when you invite your soulmate to fall in love with you.

2. Decide what you want in a relationship and what you have to offer

People without a vision perish. Our love life doesn’t make an exception. You have to know clearly what exactly do you want from your marriage, preferably long before you even start dating. Why? Because you will choose and you will be attracted towards your goal.

If you don’t have one, then stop wondering why your choices in love are so poorly made.

Write down everything. How your special someone will be like, how he or she will behave with you, how he or she will talk with you, what traits they will have, how big your family is going to be and every single detail. Think about your perfect love story and write it down. How sweet you will be treated, talked to, how deeply you will be loved.

On the other side, write the type of person you have to become in order to deserve all of this. Let’s be humble and selfless, and recognize that we have to offer in return what we want to get. Describe yourself as the perfect husband or wife, how you will behave, what you will do, how you will love. How you will make your special someone as the most cherished in the world.

After you made the decisions of what you want from your soulmate, and whom you have to be to deserve him or her, make it a MUST. You won’t accept anything less from your love life and from yourself. Keep strong into that decision because that’s what your soulmate is doing also. And that’s the way you will accept only your special someone.

You might also like: Get your Standards Right for a Happy Relationship

3. Spread love unconditionally

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. – Mother Teresa

Start with your family, love them unconditionally. That is the safe love. Then keep spreading it around. Your friends, neighbors, coworkers, strangers, all around you need your unconditional care and compassion. Don’t expect anything back.

You don’t have to make huge things. Simple acts of kindness. A smile and a hello, a phone call to see how they are doing, a takeout bought for a homeless or nothing more than a friendly talk. When we love unconditionally, that’s when we keep it alive in our hearts.

Of course, your soulmate will get from you a much deeper and profound love, at a bigger intensity, but the simple acts of compassion are what keep you warm and trained for that lovely moment. Like I’ve said, nothing exaggerated and nothing that implies more than an act of kindness.

You don’t have to be socially awkward or make everyone think you flirt with them. You just make a habit to care about the feelings of those around you. I know you can’t love all the way they want, but you can show to anybody that you care just because they are humans, and we all are God’s children.

These acts of kindness will make you go over the limits of self-imposed protection. You see, when we always expect to be treated the way we treat, we stop ourselves from expressing our feelings and wait to get a confirmation first. But unconditional love doesn’t have rules, doesn’t expect anything back and doesn’t depend on having a confirmation on the other side.

A forever lasting relationship is between two souls loving each other unconditionally, but I firmly believe we must learn to love unconditionally in the first place, with baby steps.

This is it, I hope you love this and it’s useful for you. If you apply these 3 steps and have patience, you will find true love or you will grow bigger the one you have. What you have to remember is this: The one with whom you want to spend your life with, is worth waiting your whole life. Keep spreading the love! 💖